With its complex bouquet of different notes, the kitchen
bin offers an alluring and mysterious combination of odours. It is an
aromatherapy lottery of treasures such as old sandwich meat, the remains
of last night’s casserole, or half-full containers of beef in
black bean sauce. Depending on how long it’s been since your humans
last emptied it, the smells you encounter in the kitchen bin can have
aphrodisiac qualities. But if you live with humans who are less than
fastidious, the potency of this aroma can be dangerous, even toxic.
Avoiding inhaling the smells of the kitchen bin if you are ill or pregnant.
Perfume
or Aftershave
Why do humans spray themselves with these nausea-inducing,
chemical products? By the look of things, it will take another millennium
of human civilisation before they manage to bottle an attractive fragrance
such as Chat, Eau de Laundrette or Essence of Rodent. Until they do,
whenever your human sprays these odious scents around, leap into the
air with a scream of horror and sprint out of the room. If you do this
often enough, they may take the hint and stop using these nasty products
once and for all.
Rodents
In aromatherapy circles, the smells given off by mice
and rats are renowned for being effective appetite stimulants. If you
have been off your food lately, and eating only three square meals a
day, sniff out some rodents and allow their pungent smell to stir up
your capacity for hunger. And if this should actually lead to you catching
one, you’ll know immediately whether your appetite has been rekindled
by the strength of your urge to eat the rodent that lies before you
in defeat.
Take-away Chicken
It’s
a puzzling fact that fast-food chicken outlets have not been recognised
for the New Age temples they are. In the world of aromatherapy, take-away
chicken is the fragrance of inspiration, capable of elevating your mind
to a higher plane of awareness. The fried, crispy-skinned chicken has
a smell that’s been scientifically engineered to conjure up images
of heaven. The aroma is particularly conducive to bringing on meditative
states and flashes of inspiration and wisdom. This kind of personal
development can only be achieved after you’ve shamelessly begged
your human to share his precious fast-food dinner with you. However,
you must exercise extreme restraint and refrain from eating the bones.
Instead, hide them in a safe place and allow the aroma to develop for
later use.
