Shocked mum hears ‘groany sex noises’ coming from her hedge – and needs advice on what to do

It’s the age old question…

“What would you do if people kept having sex in your hedge?”

That’s what one British mum is asking other parents after discovering that a raunchy couple are getting a kick out of getting it on in her garden.

A woman, who goes by the username eurgh, revealed in an online forum that people are having sex in the hedge at the bottom of her garden and she doesn’t know what to do about it.

“Every few nights people (I assume the same two) keep having sex in the hedge which divides my back garden from the road behind it,” she wrote on MumsNet.

Having sex outdoors
People have lots of ideas about what to do with the raunchy couple

She added: “It’s pretty brazen because there’s no real cover to hide under!

“Every few nights I’ll be sitting with my new rescue dog and letting her potter about and I’ll hear my hedge making groany sex noises.

“I’m so tempted to cough loudly or say something but for some reason I just keep quiet and feel weird listening to other people’s sex noises. So, I ask you, what would you do?”

A whole host of mums were quick to share their suggestions on how to deal with the cheeky pair.

Many were in favour of turning the garden hose or a water pistol on the couple.

Some MumsNet users thought the woman should turn the hose on the couple

One user said: “I’d decide it was time my hedge had a watering and turn the hose on it.”

Others thought she should get her dog involved in the action.

“Is your dog trained to fetch? Could you maybe lob a ball or stick or something into the hedge and get your dog to go in after it then see what fun ensues,” suggested one mum.

“Perfect weather to encourage pests in that particular area or encourage your dog to go to the toilet there,” added another.

The strange hedge situation left the mum ‘feeling weird’

And the ideas didn’t stop there

Another popular suggestion included doing a “David Attenborough commentary” whenever the pair were at it, as well as giving them a round of applause when they finish.

Some people also thought it would be a good idea to shine a big torch at them, or put up a polite notice.

If all else failed, the mum was encouraged to shout at the intruders, telling them to get lost.

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